Kay -N- Kay

Most anyone who has run a web sites is probably familiar with AWStats.  If you know enough to start up a web site then you are geeky enough to dig statistics.  And what could be cooler that stats about yourself?  And if you run a blog, by definition, YOU are your own favorite subject, so it’s like geek-heaven!

One of the things you can find out with stats collected about your web site is just how exactly people found you.  If you’re a business, trying to make money from your web site… read:  PR0N… then this is pretty important, as you can imagine.  In particular, you would want to know how people found your web site via search engines.

Now, I have no interest in any of this.  I don’t sell anything from this web site, I don’t make any money, I have all of maybe five people who read this, afterall.  (Hi Mom!!!)  But what I do find highly amusing is when someone accidentally finds my web site, by Googling something almost… but not entirely, unrelated.  It’s like a tiny window to peak into the creepy, dark, altogether wretched Internet habits of completely anonymous strangers.  So every month I take a look at what people search for on the Internet, which just so happens to also touch my blog albeit ever so slightly.

For example:  For all of 2009, far and above, the #1 search phrase that hit my site was “bascic reading skills”.

What do you suppose is more likely?  Something is interesting enough about “bascic reading skills” to warrant the vast number of searches, or that people interested in “basic reading skills” should really be searching for “remedial spelling”?

Some other ones from 2009 that I find funny:

nkay the god – Who is nkay?  I can only hope we’re related, somehow.
caps lock is god – No, it isn’t.
top 10 things that scare people – nkay is probably in the top 5.
abandon all hope tattoo – Maybe people will put this right on their face.
detroit sucks – Yes, it does.
kwame kilpatrick in cuffs – Glad that other people are interested in this, too.
marie douglas-david is ugly – Now that’s a cheap shot, folks.
youwwwporn.com – Now how did this find me?
shut up woman n getonmyhorse - Heh.

So here are the top search phrases that linked to my blog from March, 2010:

mit pi cheer – It’s real!
why does she talk to me – I don’t know, but Googling the answer is probably not going to help.
sister never hooked up – Prude.
bascic reading skills – All the illiterates love my blog.
losing the country – Do you really care if it’s lost?
big guns – Great big, enormous, BURSTING guns…
wwwpornqueen.com – with big guns?
zombie ahead – Dear God!

Father of the early cubicle dies at 85

Glenn M. Walters, a former Herman Miller Inc. executive who was key in the production and marketing of office workspaces that became commonly known as cubicles, has died. He was 85.

That’s right, the man who turned humans into hamsters has passed away.

Walters joined Zeeland-based Herman Miller in 1955 as a field salesman. In 1967, he led a task force that finished development and handled marketing for the Action Office system, which was introduced in 1968.

The system, with its movable walls, was a departure from the typical fixed office desks of the time and helped make cubicles commonplace.

Later in 1968, the first covert workplace operations were conducted in the field of crop dusting.

An urge struck me to upload a picture of where I work.  As I looked around my cubicle trying to decide what to phtograph, the target of my impulse became immediately clear

Maybe I’ll make this a weekly theme… “Scenes From an Apathetic Cube”

meh.

Honest to God, an actual cheer used at MIT athletic events:

I’m a beaver,
You’re a beaver,
We are beavers all!
And when we get together,
We do the beaver call!

E to the u du dx,
E to the x dx!
Cosine secant tangent sine,
3.14159,

Integral, radical, mu, dv!
Slipstick, slide rule, M-I-T!

Go tech!

It’s kind of catchy, really.  Maybe not on the same level as such classic, stadium rocking cheers as “O-H-I-O” and “GO BLUE”, but nevertheless, it has style.

While we’re on the subject, I can get the sound of this woman’s voice out of my head.  It’s really phreaking me out.  O.o

Molly linked me this video and I can’t get the song out of my head.

getonmyhorse.com

I think I am seriously in danger of just randomly responding to people with “Shut up woman, get on my horse!”  And it’s a forgone conclusion I’ll never be able to drink lemonade without commenting, “Mm, sweet lemonade.”

Michigan lawmakers in Lansing are meeting to clean up old and outdated state laws.

Legislation approved today would no longer make it a crime to engage in a duel with an enemy, to be in a prize fight or to take a woman against her will and force her to marry.

Finally! At long last, I can now legally challenge ALL of my arch-enemies to duels!!!  One at a time, I shall at long last enact the vengeance that has until now been denied to me.  You may have forgotten your transgressions, oh cretins of Michigan, but not I.  No… never I.

In completely unrelated news, Kristin and I are now legally married!

Detroit Woman Kills Alleged Purse Snatcher

A woman in Detroit was at this gas station when two guys come up and grab her purse.

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As they run away, she whips out a gun and goes Dirty Harry on their asses.  Half an hour later, one of the guys stumbles into a hospital and dies.

Pretty hard core defense for your $15, lipstick, and pack of Newports, Don’t you think, lady?

What do you expect in a city whose mayor hires hit men to take out stripper witnesses and then fires any police who investigate?

Not surprisingly, this was pretty much the exact same conversation I had with Kristin the first time I fixed one of our faucets.  The experience actually worked out well and I’ve been fixing our faucets ever since.

Words of Wisdom:  Men, if you’re ever asked to do something by one of the women in your life that you don’t want to do or more importantly, don’t ever want to do again, heed ths advice:  Just do it… badly.  Bite the bullet, put a helpful smile on your face, let them know you’d love to help out, and then screw up royally.  If you do right, you won’t ever be asked to do it again.

My faucets never drip.

I never do the laundry.

I think you can figure out which one I did “right” the first time.

Another installment of “News that everyone already knew” — President Loudmouth Imadingbatya is an idiot.

Apparently, the holocaust never happened and Hitler was a swell guy just offering the Jewish people low income housing or something.

Actually, I don’t really have much to say about this boil on the butt of humanity, what really caught my eye in this news piece was this part:

Ahmadinejad’s anti-Western speeches and comments on the Holocaust have in the past caused an international outcry and isolated Iran which is at loggerheads with the West over its disputed nuclear program.

“Loggerheads”?  The editors at Reuters seriously let the word “loggerheads” get posted?  No, this isn’t a politically incorrect and insensitive remark about lumberjacks… it isn’t even a noun.  When was the last time you were “at loggerheads with” someone?

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So while we’re on the subject, does President Ohuttafoolami remind anyone else of King Julien?