Kay -N- Kay

White Noise

A New Hope

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Before you read this: Please don’t judge me… I’m just sharing my story because people asked…

Wow… okay, I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to tell anyone about this, but it’s late and I’m sleep deprived, so I guess I’ll just write it now and regret it in the morning.  :-/

First of all, just for some background:  My mom died right when I was born. (she was actually really, really hot- but this isn’t about her.  I guess that’s screwed up to say, but whatever.)  I actually grew up with my dad’s family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born.  So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up.

Anyways, growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister.  When I was about 17 or 18 I noticed that my sister was a hottie.

I don’t want to go into too many details about it, but basically what happened is that I accidentally found a video that she made of herself.  I knew that she didn’t make it for me, but I thought she was so incredibly beautiful that I watched it twice.  Hell, I probably would have watched it a lot more, but right around the time I found the video, all of this crazy crap went down and I had to leave home. (My dad’s family who I was staying with got in bad trouble with the law.  I never talk about it.)

Sooo… I was totally lusting after my sister at that point.  She was also having bad trouble with the law.  In fact, she was actually in jail when I left home.

My friend and I went to go pick her up.  When I saw her that day, after seeing the video, I have to be honest, I wanted her really bad.  Like… wanted her.  Looking back on it now, it’s pretty messed up, but I think she had feelings for me, too.  She actually kissed me right after we came to get her… and it wasn’t a sisterly kiss, you know?  I mean, it wasn’t ridiculously sexual or anything, but it definitely wasn’t sisterly.

After we left, we all went to crash with my sister’s friends.  On the trip there, my friend sort of implied that he wanted to get with my sister and I got a little jealous.  He’s a good looking guy and even though she was my sister, I just felt like he was competition.  Not much else happened between us for a while except some maybe-sexual hugging.

My friend and my sister never hooked up, I don’t think… but I thought there was some serious sexual tension going on between them.  It was around that time that I got really badly hurt in an accident.  It was really F-ed up.  I almost died.  But when I was in recovery, my sister came to see me and out of no where she just gave me this awesome, slow, passionate kiss on the lips.

Sadly (although, I guess for the best) nothing ever came of it.  We spent some time apart… and I started to get really religious, so I tried not to think of her in that way.  It was actually going well for a long time- like I was totally over her.  But I have to say, like a year or so after all that stuff went down, we were out sailing (not like a date or anything romantic like that) and she was wearing like the hottest bikini I’ve ever seen in my life, like anywhere, on anybody.  It just immediately brought back all of the old feelings.  *sigh*

A little while later she actually wound up with my friend from before. (the sexual tension guy)  I can’t say I was surprised.

But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was this one time we were at a party… my friend was inside and my sister and I were out on the deck alone.  It was really an intimate moment.  I think something might have happened, except that I killed the mood when I told her that our father was Darth Vader and I had to go face him.

Written by Luke

February 9th, 2010 at 3:25 pm

Posted in Brilliant!

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