Kay -N- Kay

White Noise

Electing a Mayor… Detroit Style!

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Detroit’s self proclaimed hip-hop mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick, left office on September 18th, 2008.  “Left office” as loosely defined as being led across the street in hand cuffs to his new office behind bars.  Shortly before this happened, Detroit’s deputy mayor, Anthony Adams, stepped down from his office.  “Stepped down” can similarly be defined as taking the position as director of the Detroit Water Dept. for a $90,000 a year pay increase.  Evidently, no one saw the need to actually fill Mr. Adamas’ former position, leaving the question of, “Erm… exactly who’s in charge around here?” unanswered.

So what’s a city to do?

Detroit has so little money that we’re selling bridges to Canada.  Seriously… that was our bright idea to balance the budget.  No longer able to afford Lincoln Navigators for Kwame’s entire family and employ his contingent of umpteen dozen bodyguards working 80+ hours of overtime every week, Detroit figured it’d be a great idea to just sell our bridge to those kooky Canadian neighbors of ours.  Clearly, this would solve our budget crisis for the foreseeable future.

There was little over a year until Kwame’s pervious term was up and all we needed was someone to hold down the fort until the good citizens of D-Town could elect a new thief to steal their money.  Instead, they decided to hold what amounts to 4 separate elections at approximately $3 million a pop.

First of all, the president of Detroit’s City Council, was promoted to serve as Mayor.  After all, it’s a big city and big cities need mayors.  But instead of just letting him serve out the year, for some reason Detroit needed to have a special election… in May… to elect a mayor for 5 months!  And of course, what’s a special election without a pre-special election to elect the candidates for the special election?

Yeah, let’s hold one of those.

In recent news, Detroiters care so much about the situation that about 10% of the registered voters will actually participate in this pre-special election election.

Written by Kyle

February 24th, 2009 at 11:41 am

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