Kay -N- Kay

Not surprisingly, this was pretty much the exact same conversation I had with Kristin the first time I fixed one of our faucets.  The experience actually worked out well and I’ve been fixing our faucets ever since.

Words of Wisdom:  Men, if you’re ever asked to do something by one of the women in your life that you don’t want to do or more importantly, don’t ever want to do again, heed ths advice:  Just do it… badly.  Bite the bullet, put a helpful smile on your face, let them know you’d love to help out, and then screw up royally.  If you do right, you won’t ever be asked to do it again.

My faucets never drip.

I never do the laundry.

I think you can figure out which one I did “right” the first time.

The Smoking Gun reported a story about a bad decision by some Texas cops.  Evidently, they couldn’t resist getting some pictures of a local waitress with big guns.  Meaning, they gave her a big gun… not like her OWN guns were all that big.  They may have been… not that she even owns any guns.

Whatever.

Judging from the picture, I can’t really fault their judgment:

Look closely at the name tag

Good video?

Or best video ever?

The parts I ordered for my new computer arrived two days ago.  It was a Wednesday afternoon, when the sun was at it’s zenith and song birds filled the air with acoustic radiance to rival the sun’s splendor.

I was at work.  :-/

Two hours later, after counting down the last 30 minutes one at a time, I was racing home to two wondrous boxes of joy and happiness.  All the buyer’s remorse that consistently plagues me with purchases over about $1.50, was now gone.  It was like Christmas in July and Santa had mistakenly penned my name onto the “nice” list.

Just as one cannot just fill a stein with Meursault Clos de la Baronne and quaff it down like a Pabst, you can’t just start slamming together computer parts.  They must first be… savored.

After first laying everything out for proper admiration, I started on the assembly.  I’ll spare you ALL of the geeky details… I documented the process in pictures… but it was a long process.  At the end, my back screaming from hours of bending over the table, I was yanking out hard drive cages and adjusting cable layouts to fit in the monstrously huge video card.  From the back of the case to the front loaded hard drives, it has maybe half an inch to spare

After over 6 hours of labor, my brand new, bouncing baby computer was brought into this world.

Ooooh, pretty blue lights.  Hee hee.

Detroit City Councilwoman, Monica Conyers, pleads guilty to bribery.

A career of nepitism, slander, corruption, and self service finally comes to an end.  Hopefully.  Take a look back at one of Monica’s finer moments.

How Monica behaves during Detroit City Council meetings:

How Monica behaves around kids: (The first part is a repat of the above video, skip to 1:25 for video of a Detroit City Councilwoman losing an argument to an 13 yr old girl)

So Kristin and I are currently arguing about whether or not to turn on the air conditioning.  Thus far it’s only been light hearted jabs and I’ve held my mouth in check despite the sweat glistening on my brow some evenings.  Today, she called me up:

Kristin – “How hot is it supposed to be today?”

Me – “85 degrees”

Kristin – “Hmph”  Quiet pause.  “I guess that’s hot enough for the air conditioning.”

Me – I resist the urge to equate this epiphany to others things just as obvious.

Kristin – “What’s the temperature supposed to be like over the weekend.”

Me – “Hot.  Damn hot.  Mid 70s and then high 70s to low 80s.”  Then the suspician creeps in.  “Why?”

Kristin – “Cause it seems like such a waste to turn on the air for just a single night if we’re just going to turn it off for the rest of the weekend.”

Now that got me thinking… if only there were some device, some technological creation pushing the boundaries of imagination so as to seem near magical in the breadth of it’s use, that could control our heating and air conditioning.  Now I’m going to get a little crazy here with my musings, but try to stay with me…

I’m thinking this… we hook our furnace up to this device, this invention, this marvel of the 21st century.  Now I’m just thinking out loud here, but what if this thing was able to control when heat or air conditioning was needed and then… then my dear friends and readers, then this mythical icon of our era could DETECT whether or not more heat was needed OR if more air conditioning was needed, and it could turn on and off our furnace… AUTO-MAGICALLY!!!!!!!

Wow, wouldn’t that be something?  A device that would only push out air conditioning when it was needed and then turn it off so as to not waste money when it was not needed?  I mean, imagine that?!!?!?!  No more fighting with the Temperature Nazis who demand in name of the all mighty electric bill that we constantly turn off the air when it’s not needed.  This one device as I envision it would maintain the temperature of your house at a pristine range of your own choosing.

This could really be something…

All I need now is a name… some combination of Latin words, like Thermo for heat and then something that means to stabilize or make constant…

Previously, I thought the Internet was all about porn.  Without porn, the Internet clearly had no purpose.  But then all these so-called “social networking sites” started showing up.  MySpace… Facebook… and because it’s clearly far too much effort to use Facebook, evidently Twitter was born.

But I always doubted that these types of things were ever really used for anything, except porn.  I mean come on… Twitter’s slogan is “What are you doing?”  Umm… I’m on the Internet.  Duh?  Downloading porn.  I mean what else would I be doing?

But now I understand.  This man and his customized office chair, have shown me the light!

Man Builds Chair That Tweets His Farts, Single-Handedly Justifies Twitter’s Existence

Kristin and Bran are having an adventure down in Arizona this week.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t go with them, but they are having a good time so far, even despite “The Great Paul Family Ham Stand Off of ’09”.  I may be able to get Kristin to post that saga when she gets back. 

Bran had a crisis of faith this year about the Easter bunny, compounded by Kristin waffling with her “Well, what do you think?” answer when asked if there truly was an altruistic seasonal hare who harbors in spring through the ritualistic decoration of avian embryos by children and subsequently hiding their handiwork for suspiciously unknown intentions.  He was pretty sure this Easter Bunny character was real, but his child-radar was picking up that while Mommy was seemingly allaying his doubts, she would not actually outright validate the existence and proclaim all doubters as heretics to be immediately stoned and posthumously drug through the streets.  Something was possibly amiss and clearly needed to be investigated further…

On Easter morning he woke up bright and early and unbeknown to his still sleepy mother, had hatched a plan to clear up this Easter Bunny business once and for all.  The night before, they had performed the ritual of properly coloring each egg in the house according to unwritten edicts of ages past and stored the talismans within the refrigerator.  Therein lay his proof.

Moments after opening his eyes, Bran made a beeline for the fridge and mother’s intuition prompted Kristin to ask what he was doing.  “Oh, I’m just going to check on the eggs.” he replied.

Misunderstanding, Kristin said, “Hunny, we’re not doing the Easter Egg Hunt yet, remember how we talked about doing it this afternoon?”

“Oh, I know.” he replied.  “I’m just going to check the refrigerator to see if the Easter Bunny picked up our eggs.”

The truth of the situation struck Kristin like a thunderbolt from on high.  If the eggs were still there then clearly the Easter Bunny would not have been able to get the eggs prior to them being hidden in the afternoon.  The crafty runt had out foxed her!  She needed a diversion…

“Ok dear, well why don’t you go use the potty first.”  It was a stretch… but it might buy her about 30 seconds.

Off he went and Kristin sprinted to the kitchen.  With only seconds to spare, she grabbed the tray of eggs, whipped it out of the fridge and cleverly covered them with an ordinary looking kitchen towel.

No sooner had she successfully disguised the tray of eggs as a large lump of something clearly being hidden underneath a towel when Bran returned.  He opened the door to the refrigerator which was now cleared of the damning evidence and turned wide-eyed and victorious to his mother.  “He IS real, Mommy!”

I’ve been slow with any new updates, so here is a song/video that always makes me smile.

Life is difficult these days, we all have our problems.  Wouldn’t it be nice if someone or some political party had an answer to each of our individual problems?  Something simple, yet tailor made to your unique circumstances?

BEHOLD! – The GOP Problem Solver