Kay -N- Kay

Detroit Woman Kills Alleged Purse Snatcher

A woman in Detroit was at this gas station when two guys come up and grab her purse.

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As they run away, she whips out a gun and goes Dirty Harry on their asses.  Half an hour later, one of the guys stumbles into a hospital and dies.

Pretty hard core defense for your $15, lipstick, and pack of Newports, Don’t you think, lady?

What do you expect in a city whose mayor hires hit men to take out stripper witnesses and then fires any police who investigate?

Not surprisingly, this was pretty much the exact same conversation I had with Kristin the first time I fixed one of our faucets.  The experience actually worked out well and I’ve been fixing our faucets ever since.

Words of Wisdom:  Men, if you’re ever asked to do something by one of the women in your life that you don’t want to do or more importantly, don’t ever want to do again, heed ths advice:  Just do it… badly.  Bite the bullet, put a helpful smile on your face, let them know you’d love to help out, and then screw up royally.  If you do right, you won’t ever be asked to do it again.

My faucets never drip.

I never do the laundry.

I think you can figure out which one I did “right” the first time.

Another installment of “News that everyone already knew” — President Loudmouth Imadingbatya is an idiot.

Apparently, the holocaust never happened and Hitler was a swell guy just offering the Jewish people low income housing or something.

Actually, I don’t really have much to say about this boil on the butt of humanity, what really caught my eye in this news piece was this part:

Ahmadinejad’s anti-Western speeches and comments on the Holocaust have in the past caused an international outcry and isolated Iran which is at loggerheads with the West over its disputed nuclear program.

“Loggerheads”?  The editors at Reuters seriously let the word “loggerheads” get posted?  No, this isn’t a politically incorrect and insensitive remark about lumberjacks… it isn’t even a noun.  When was the last time you were “at loggerheads with” someone?

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So while we’re on the subject, does President Ohuttafoolami remind anyone else of King Julien?

Today is 09/09/09 which is really something.  Or so we’re told.  I mean, yeah… you have to ignore the fact that it’s not really the year 09, but that’s normal.  It’s not like it’s really 09/09/2009, or 9/9/09, or something else less special.  This is really and actually a significant moment in history, folks!

I guess this isn’t going to happen again for over 100 years or maybe even a thousand!

Next year, when 10/10/10 rolls around, it’s totally not going to be nearly as meaningful.  Not as much so as 9/9/2009… er, I mean 09/09/09.  And what about 11/11/11?  Forget about it, THIS… THIS moment in history, this 09/09/09 isn’t coming around again EVER IN OUR LIFETIMES FOLKS!!!!

It’s the last time in the next 100 years that we’ll have the a set of repeating, single-digit dates.  And since single-digit dates are clearly more special that double-digit dates… or at least single digits where we arbitrarily tack on leading zeros for days and months, but lop off those annoying preceding millennium and century numbers from the year.

It’s special, damnit… no really, it is.  :-/

Other things that are as special and unique as 09/09/09:

• Snow Flakes – Yeah, there may be a bazillion of them on your driveway, but under a microscope each and every one is unique.
• Your Kids – Afterall, everyone knows you sired the next Joe Namath, Michael Jordan, Albert Einstein, Mozart, and Picasso all in one.  No really, we all believe it just as much as you do.
• Eclipses – Because there’ll never be another 57%, lower quadrant, 100 lumines, lunar, not solar, in the Northern hemisphere bordering Indiana AND Ohio during the evening hours of 11:30 to 11:35 pm not obscured by the clouds ever again in our lifetimes.