BREAKING NEWS ALERT — Detroit Sucks.
I know this is going to come as a complete shock to all of you, but yes, it’s official… Detroit Sucks.
#1 – America’s Most And Least Popular Cities
“Of course, current economic conditions also play a role. It’s no surprise that 90% of those surveyed don’t want to live in Detroit, which ranked lowest out of 30 cities. It’s got a 9.5% unemployment rate and a murder rate 5.16 times higher than the national average.”
Does anyone find these figures surprising? Honestly, I’m more amazed that 10% of America would actually consider living in Detroit.
#2 – America’s Emptiest Cities
“Detroit and Las Vegas are among the worst offenders by both measures–the Motor City sports vacancy rates of 19.9% for rentals and 4% for homes”
“But starting in the 1960s, Detroit began a precipitous decline. Detroit’s population is now 900,000–half what it was in the middle of the century–and many of its neighborhoods languish in varying states of decay.”
Detroit is losing population faster than the Lions lose football games… “a murder rate 5.16 times higher than the national average”… hmm…there’s a connection here, I can just feel it.
#7 – America’s Most Miserable Cities
“The Motor City benefited from our revised criteria this year (we added sales tax and sports teams in addition to corruption).”
Evidently Forbes hasn’t been watching the Lions for the last 50 years, or even the last year where they went 0 – 16… a feat previously thought about a 100 times less likely than a team going 16 – 0. But evidently hockey is every bit as important and popular as football, right? O.o
“Yet after more than half a century, countless scholars, politicians, community organizers developers and nonprofit workers have been unable to come up with a solution to fix Detroit.”
Oh really? Has anyone suggested that perhaps Detroit should stop re-electing politicians who’ve been caught red-handed and shown on TV to be stealing the public’s money? Maybe the big 3 could stop developing new cars that Toyota and Honda have had on dealer lots for the past 10 years? Or wait… this may be a radical idea, but let me take a “stab” at it… How about Detroiters stop KILLING each other?!?!
And by the way, our house is still up for sale if anyone’s interested.
Equal Shares for All… Except You, Illinois!
Ok, this has absolutely no effect in the grand scheme of things, since he is now ex-governor Blagojevic, but I still find section 1112 of the stimulus bill absolutely hilarious.
SEC. 1112 – ADDITIONAL ASSURANCE OF APPROPRIATE USE OF FUNDS.
None of the funds provided by this Act may be made available to the State of Illinois, or any agency of the State, unless
(1) the use of such funds by the State is approved in legislation enacted by the State after the date of the enactment of this Act, or
(2) Rod R. Blagojevich no longer holds the office of Governor of the State of Illinois.
Yeah, so… THERE! Take that Illinois, you… you…fund-waster-type-state-guy!
I wonder if section 1112 was penned by none other than Roland Burris?
Brains… It’s what’s for Dinner
Road signs across the USA and even Australia have been warning us of an impending zombie invasion! Some say it’s just hackers playing a prank, but can you be certain? Think of the children!!!
Now would be a good time to check and see just how you’ll fare when the zombie invasion reaches your town… Zombie Attack Survival Quiz
Top 10 Things That Scare the World
For the 3 or 4 of you out there who use Google, you’ve probably noticed that as you type in your search, you get a drop down list of the 10 most common searches that match what you’re typing. This is very helpful when you are like me, and not really very good at thinking in terms of key words. Or least not the same key words other people use. Just type in one or two key words and google now drops down with a nice list of searches that people like you are also searching for. BRILLIANT!
However, this has some, perhaps unintended usages. ..
No really… I couldn’t make this up. Go out to Google and try it out by typing “I am extremely”.
What Was That?
PETA, that bastion of redoubtable tactics, is at it again. See the animal advocates outside the Westminster Dog Show in KKK garb.
Today’s blue ribbon of ill-conceived notions goes to the educators at an elementary school in Mississippi who approved “Cotton Picking Day” in celebration of Black History month.
If You’re Angry and You Know It, Stamp Your Face
Ever since I started checking out the weekly round up of mug shots on The Smoking Gun, I’ve become somewhat obsessed with facial tattoos. Or rather, more to the point, with the people who choose to get them. What trials and tribulations in a person’s life leads them to that crossroad where they look left and chuckle to themselves in amusement, look right and think deep in the recesses of their alcohol soaked mind that there could possibly be a day where they might regret being totally unable to hide their tattoo choice, and finally just decide to go straight on ahead with, “You know what? Today is the rest of my life. Nothing will ever be so different as to make this a bad idea.”
Consider, if you will, exhibit A:
I mean… come on, really? Was there truly, absolutely no hope in this man to give him pause that fateful day?
Meetings
I’m sitting in a meeting right now, typing away on my laptop looking busy.
I have this exact picture on my coffee mug at work, which I make sure to bring to all of my meetings.
Aren’t I so very clever?
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”
— Dave Barry
Bwillions, and Bwillions of Stars
Have you ever seen a sight such as this? There have been nights and locations where I’ve looked up at the sky and thought, “Wow, I’ve never seen so many stars!” but truly nothing quite this…
Do you think New Zealand has a different sky than the USA?
The Six Minute Pick-Me-Up
It’s just fun to watch this every so often.
Witness: The Evolution of Dance
Deep Thoughts by Calvin
What I find mildly amusing is that on the gocomics.com web site, someone tagged this cartoon with “atheism”.