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Count Day – A Michigan Tradition

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Long ago, our forefathers (Michigan forefathers, that is) had a great idea.  They needed to know how they should divvy up all of the state cash that was allocated for public schools.  After much thought and careful consideration, they decided that the fairest and most accurate way to do this was to have one single day, in the middle of each year, where they would simply count the number of students in the classrooms of each school.  The more kids a school had… the more money they would get.

Brilliant, no?

Students offered gift cards, cash for Count Day success

Detroit Public Schools will offer $20,000 in Target gift cards — including five $1,000 prizes — to DPS parents who bring their children for a full day on Count Day.

Breakfast and lunch also will be served to every DPS student at no charge.

How else could we possibly expect our public schools to get the proper amount of state funds if not through pay offs, free offers, and outright bribery?

Apropos of nothing, Detroit native and former mayor of Detroit, Kwame Kilpatrick, “is facing 19 counts of fraud and tax evasion, accused of illegally using the nonprofit Kilpatrick Civic Fund for personal expenses, including crisis consultants, a Cadillac, and summer camp for his kids. The fund was supposed to be used for charitable purposes.” (Kilpatrick’s status conference delayed to January)

How could he possibly have ever believed that he’d get away with these things?

Students offered gift cards, cash for Count Day success

Written by Kyle

September 30th, 2010 at 2:53 pm

You Can’t Do THAT, Arizona

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Swooping in at the very last moment, federal judge Susan Boltan blocked portions of Arizona’s controversial immigration law.

The overall law will still take effect Thursday, but without the provisions that angered opponents — including sections that required officers to check a person’s immigration status while enforcing other laws.

The judge also put on hold parts of the law that required immigrants to carry their papers at all times, and made it illegal for undocumented workers to solicit employment in public places.

So what prompted the Feds to step in and pull the stops on Arizona from implementing it’s new law at Midnight, tonight?  According to the federal judge:

“By enforcing this statute, Arizona would impose a ‘distinct, unusual and extraordinary’ burden on legal resident aliens that only the federal government has the authority to impose.”

That’s right, Arizona… only our FEDERAL government can impose “distinct, unusual, and extraordinary” burdens on us!  So just back off!!!

Written by Kyle

July 28th, 2010 at 1:52 pm

Posted in Abandon All Hope

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It’s Tough to be a Mom in the USA

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US low score on world motherhood rankings

To be more specific, USA ranked #28 on the Save the Children Organization 2010 annual report on the best and worst places in which to be a new mother.

Countries are ranked on mother related data:  such as the risk of maternal death (1 in 4,800 for the USA, compared to 1 in 47,600 in Ireland); Female life expectancy (A pretty good 82 for the USA); female schooling; and maternity leave benefits (USA ranks dead last out of 43 developed countries).

And countries are also ranked on children related data:  such as under 5 mortality rate (8 in 1,000 kids die before their 5th birthday in the USA, compared to 3 in 1,000 for several nations such as Finland, Sweden, Iceland, Luxemborg, and even Macendonia); and schooling for children (only 61% on kids in the USA get enrolled in pre-school, compared to 100% in many places)

If only we could figure out just what those other countries are doing so well…

Other countries where fewer kids die before age 5 compared to the USA:

Developed Countries:  Australia, Austria, Belgium, Canada, Croatia, Czech Republic, Denmark, Estoria, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Ireland, Iceland, Italy, Japan, Lithuania, Luxemborg, Malta, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Poland, Portugal, Serbia, Slovenia, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, and United Kingdom.

Less Developed Countries:  Brunei Darussalam, Cuba, Cyprus, Israel, Korea, Malaysia, and Singapore


Written by Kyle

May 5th, 2010 at 1:16 pm

More News That Everyone Already Knows

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Americans more loyal to brands, country than company

Basically, this study is showing that Americans no longer have any loyalty to their lying, abusive, employers who would sell the souls of 50 employees if would get them an extra 0.01% margin.

Americans are more loyal to their favorite soft drink, television show or car brand than they are to their employer, according to a joint Reuters/Ipsos poll.


Imagine that?  Refer to people as “headcount”, treat them as costs instead of assets, and lay them off at the first hints of lower profits for the quarter and for some odd reason they leave you when given half a chance.  Who’d a thunk it?

Companies did not fare well when it comes to allegiance. Most Americans said they are more committed to their favorite soft drink than the company they work for.

That about sums it for me.  If I worked for Coca-Cola, I’d have a real dilemma on my hands.

Written by Kyle

April 29th, 2010 at 3:42 pm

Posted in Abandon All Hope

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Is there…

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Continuing on with one of my favorite themes:

Weird Shit People Search For on the Internet

Further proving that Real Life is funnier than Hollywood will ever be.


Actually, I think I find it even funnier that more people are interested in finding out who’s viewing their Facebook page than whether or not God exists.

Written by Kyle

November 13th, 2009 at 5:37 pm

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World’s Drunkest Man

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I think Kristin was this drunk one time.  Ranting about Illinois football and how I don’t care.

Edit: I had to change the link to a different video of the same footage, due to some terms of service violation.

Written by Kyle

October 22nd, 2009 at 4:03 pm

Posted in Abandon All Hope

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Mad Maxina 4: Detroit Meltdown

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Detroit Woman Kills Alleged Purse Snatcher

A woman in Detroit was at this gas station when two guys come up and grab her purse.

View Larger Map

As they run away, she whips out a gun and goes Dirty Harry on their asses.  Half an hour later, one of the guys stumbles into a hospital and dies.

Pretty hard core defense for your $15, lipstick, and pack of Newports, Don’t you think, lady?

What do you expect in a city whose mayor hires hit men to take out stripper witnesses and then fires any police who investigate?

Written by Kyle

September 25th, 2009 at 11:19 am

Posted in Abandon All Hope,White Noise

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Can Jesus…

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What can Jesus do?  Clearly, God can do anything he wants, right?  But does Jesus have limitations?

I mean… can Jesus create life on other planets?  Evidently he can heal the sick and mix a righteous vintage of Nile-wine, but can he trisect an angle?

As I always do when faced with a burning question such as this, I turned to the ultimate source for answers, be they material, social, moral, or theological… Goolge.



Seriously, WTF people?

Written by Kyle

August 13th, 2009 at 3:01 pm

Posted in Abandon All Hope,White Noise

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“Keep Your Government Hands Off My Medicare!”

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A lot of people are talking about health care reform lately.  Well, not just lately.  We’ve been talking about it for years.  Ok, decades.  In fact, health care has been so screwed since the invention of the insurance company, that our government had to step in and create Medicare back in 1965.


Why did we… a capitalist society, founded on the premise that so long as there’s a dollar to be made, people will step up to make that dollar in the most efficient manner possible… why did we need a government program to do the same thing that insurance companies could and should be doing?

Insurance companies do not exist to take care of you.  Their commercials may say that you’re in safe hands with them, but taking care of you does not make them money.  In fact… NOT taking care of you is the only thing that does make them money.  You pay premiums to a health insurance company under the premise that when you need health care, you can file a claim so that you won’t have to pay as much money to receive that care.

Premiums = money paid to the health insurance company

Claims = money paid by the health insurance company

Profit = Premiums – Claims

This isn’t rocket science… in fact, it’s not even algebra.  This is first grade addition and subtraction.  The only way a health insurance company stays in business is to get you to pay THEM more money for your health care than they have to pay the doctors, hospitals, etc for your health care. Flat out fact, most people would save huge amounts of money over their lifetime if insurance companies weren’t also profiting from their health care.

So why did we need Medicare?  Old people aren’t profitable.  Sorry guys and gals, you’re health is expensive.  In short… there is no profit in keeping you alive.  Your life is nothing but a loss to insurance companies, so the only one who is interested in keeping you alive is… your government.  They’re the only ones willing to operate at a loss for you.

So here we are in 2009, still talking about how screwed up our health care system is, despite the government subsidizing our most expensive citizens for the past 44 years.   The price that we pay for health insurance premiums has increased at more than double the amount our wages have increased for the past decade.  You pay 78% more now than you did in 2001, which is more than 4 times the amount that your paycheck has increased.  Health insurance companies are making record profits and the World Health Organization rates the USA’s health care at #37 in the world, just behind such leaders in health care as Dominica and Costa Rica.

When your son or daughter gets cancer, do you really want to live in the 37th best country in the world for health care?

Barack Obama is on a marketing campaign of town hall meetings, to try and convince the country that the government can help us with health care if we just give them a chance.  In a recent such event in Simpsonville, Republican representative Robert Inglis was fielding questions from the crowd.  A man, evidently sold by Satan Palin on the fact that a national health insurance program, such as what is employed at the #1 ranked country for health care, would result in socialized medicine and “death panels”, stood up to exclaim, “Keep Your Government Hands Off My Medicare!”

“I had to politely explain that, ‘Actually, sir, your health care is being provided by the government,’ ” Inglis recalled. “But he wasn’t having any of it.”

Gotta love politics.

Written by Kyle

August 13th, 2009 at 12:46 pm

Posted in Abandon All Hope

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And I ran. I ran so far away.

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Here is another conversation I had with a friend over IM.

Molly: I know!! I went to that concert last night!! :)
Oh, there was a concert for Foreigner?
Molly: yes, they are still alive!!
Molly: It was Flock of Seagulls, Loverboy, and Foreigner!!
Kyle: Did anyone go with you?
Molly: no..I went alone…what do you think!! :) I went with 2 friends from high school
Kyle: Did you all know in advance who was playing?
Molly: yeah
Molly: wait…are you saying we were lame to go?!!? :)
Molly: the tickets were $10
Kyle: Wow, I wonder why they were so cheap!?!?

I’m almost sorry I missed Oldapalooza.


Written by Kyle

August 13th, 2009 at 11:15 am

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