Kay -N- Kay

Michigan lawmakers in Lansing are meeting to clean up old and outdated state laws.

Legislation approved today would no longer make it a crime to engage in a duel with an enemy, to be in a prize fight or to take a woman against her will and force her to marry.

Finally! At long last, I can now legally challenge ALL of my arch-enemies to duels!!!  One at a time, I shall at long last enact the vengeance that has until now been denied to me.  You may have forgotten your transgressions, oh cretins of Michigan, but not I.  No… never I.

In completely unrelated news, Kristin and I are now legally married!

Detroit Woman Kills Alleged Purse Snatcher

A woman in Detroit was at this gas station when two guys come up and grab her purse.

View Larger Map

As they run away, she whips out a gun and goes Dirty Harry on their asses.  Half an hour later, one of the guys stumbles into a hospital and dies.

Pretty hard core defense for your $15, lipstick, and pack of Newports, Don’t you think, lady?

What do you expect in a city whose mayor hires hit men to take out stripper witnesses and then fires any police who investigate?

Not surprisingly, this was pretty much the exact same conversation I had with Kristin the first time I fixed one of our faucets.  The experience actually worked out well and I’ve been fixing our faucets ever since.

Words of Wisdom:  Men, if you’re ever asked to do something by one of the women in your life that you don’t want to do or more importantly, don’t ever want to do again, heed ths advice:  Just do it… badly.  Bite the bullet, put a helpful smile on your face, let them know you’d love to help out, and then screw up royally.  If you do right, you won’t ever be asked to do it again.

My faucets never drip.

I never do the laundry.

I think you can figure out which one I did “right” the first time.

Another installment of “News that everyone already knew” — President Loudmouth Imadingbatya is an idiot.

Apparently, the holocaust never happened and Hitler was a swell guy just offering the Jewish people low income housing or something.

Actually, I don’t really have much to say about this boil on the butt of humanity, what really caught my eye in this news piece was this part:

Ahmadinejad’s anti-Western speeches and comments on the Holocaust have in the past caused an international outcry and isolated Iran which is at loggerheads with the West over its disputed nuclear program.

“Loggerheads”?  The editors at Reuters seriously let the word “loggerheads” get posted?  No, this isn’t a politically incorrect and insensitive remark about lumberjacks… it isn’t even a noun.  When was the last time you were “at loggerheads with” someone?

……………………………………..________
………………………………,.-‘”……………….“~.,
………………………..,.-”……………………………..“-.,
…………………….,/………………………………………..”:,
…………………,?………………………………………………\,
………………./…………………………………………………..,}
……………../………………………………………………,:`^`..}
……………/……………………………………………,:”………/
…………..?…..__…………………………………..:`………../
…………./__.(…..“~-,_…………………………,:`………./
………../(_….”~,_……..“~,_………………..,:`…….._/
……….{.._$;_……”=,_…….“-,_…….,.-~-,},.~”;/….}
………..((…..*~_…….”=-._……“;,,./`…./”…………../
…,,,___.\`~,……“~.,………………..`…..}…………../
…………(….`=-,,…….`……………………(……;_,,-”
…………/.`~,……`-………………………….\……/\
………….\`~.*-,……………………………….|,./…..\,__
,,_……….}.>-._\……………………………..|…………..`=~-,
…..`=~-,_\_……`\,……………………………\
……………….`=~-,,.\,………………………….\
…………………………..`:,,………………………`\…………..__
……………………………….`=-,……………….,%`>–==“
…………………………………._\……….._,-%…….`\
……………………………..,<`.._|_,-&“…………….`\

——————————————————————————————————————–

So while we’re on the subject, does President Ohuttafoolami remind anyone else of King Julien?

What can Jesus do?  Clearly, God can do anything he wants, right?  But does Jesus have limitations?

I mean… can Jesus create life on other planets?  Evidently he can heal the sick and mix a righteous vintage of Nile-wine, but can he trisect an angle?

As I always do when faced with a burning question such as this, I turned to the ultimate source for answers, be they material, social, moral, or theological… Goolge.

O.o

Seriously, WTF people?

Remember that scene in the original Star Wars movie where Luke, Han, and Lea are in a shoot out with about 80,000 stormtroopers?  Then in the middle of it all, R2 just strolls across the hangar to change the course of history?  All those Stormtroopers are shooting around R2, probably thinking, “OMG, get the #^%@ out of the way, I’m trying to shoot some rebel scum here!!!”

Do you ever wonder what goes through the minds of those stormtroopers after the fact, once it’s sunk in that all they had to do was just ONE time, aim at the slow moving trash can instead of the well fortified jedi-in-training?

So last week, my computer went *poof*.  I’ll pause for a moment of silence…

Ooooooh

This was the computer I “treated” myself to over 3 years ago.  Previously, I’d always purchased semi-reasonable computers with an eye to performance vs. affordability.  But this time, I went almost all out and bought an Alienware machine of near Earth shattering power.  In short, I was never really all that happy with it.

Now, it was as good and better than anything I’d ever gotten before, but my expectations were considerably higher.  It just never quite lived up to the hype, even though that hype was mostly in my own head, heh.

Last week, the computer had a series of unusual, but benign, “occurrences”.  Things that no one but a computer geek like me would notice, like locking up at an unusual time.  A Blue Screen of Death on a file that hadn’t occurred before.  A faint disturbance in the force.  Then, it just up and died.  I came back into the room and noticed the screen was blank.  I powered it off and it simply never came back on.  /cry

Everything seemed to still be getting power as the DVD drives would spin, all of the lights came on, fans spun and gizmos whirred.  But the damn thing just wouldn’t boot.  Nothing ever displayed on the screen and the beep that occurs when it starts reading the BIOS (or at least that’s the way I interpreted it) would never beep.

So what’s a nerd to do when his toy breaks?

Yep.  I took the whole thing apart.

Not just the normal things like video and sound cards and memory.  Oh no… out came the power supply, off came the cables, motherboard yanked, and oh my, is that the CPU?  Pop.  Everything came apart and surprisingly, it all went back together again.  But still no beep.

So what’s a nerd to do when he can’t fix his broken toy?

Yep, I’m building a new toy.  Better than before.  Stronger.  Faster… MORE POWERFUL THAN ANYTHING EVER BEFORE MUHAHAHHAHA.

Going the complete opposite direction from my last computer, this time I’m just ordering all of the individual pieces separately and will commence jamming them together where they seem most likely to fit.

• 1 x Intel Core i7 920 Nehalem 2.66GHz LGA 1366 130W Quad-Core Processor Model BX80601920 – Retail
• 1 x ASUS P6T LGA 1366 Intel X58 ATX Intel Motherboard – Retail
• 1 x ZALMAN CNPS9700 LED 110mm 2 Ball CPU Cooler – Retail
• 1 x ZALMAN ZM-CS4A Socket 1366 Clip Support Kit for CNPS9500/9700 – Retail
• 1 x ARCTIC COOLING MX-2 Thermal Compound – Retail
• 1 x CORSAIR DOMINATOR 6GB (3 x 2GB) 240-Pin DDR3 SDRAM DDR3 1600 (PC3 12800) Triple Channel Kit Desktop Memory Model TR3X6G1600C8D – Retail
• 1 x EVGA 896-P3-1170-AR GeForce GTX 275 896MB 448-bit DDR3 PCI Express 2.0 x16 HDCP Ready SLI Supported Video Card – Retail
• 2 x Western Digital Caviar Black WD1001FALS 1TB 7200 RPM SATA 3.0Gb/s 3.5″ Internal Hard Drives – OEM
• 1 x Antec Nine Hundred Black Steel ATX Mid Tower Computer Case – Retail
• 1 x ABS DARK BERET series DB850-M-BRZ Continuous 850W@50°C ATX12V/EPS12V 80 PLUS BRONZE Certified, SLI Ready, CrossFire Ready, Core i7 Ready, Single Strong 12V Rail, Modular Flat Cable Design, Active-PFC – Retail
• 1 x Microsoft Windows Vista Ultimate SP1 64-bit for System Builders – OEM

For those of you who actually dated in high school, have friends that exist in a real 3rd dimension, and like to go outside for longer periods of time than just walking to your car:

• Intel’s newest Pentium CPU that doesn’t cost as much as New Zealand’s Gross National Product
• An ASUS motherboard to go with the CPU.
• Aftermarket CPU cooler
• 6GB of performance RAM
• nVidia GTX 275 video card
• Two 1TB hard drives. (1 Terabyte = 1,000 Gigabytes)
• A mid-tower case to hold it all and an 850 Watt power supply to, well, power it.
• Windows Vista, 64 bit version

And for those of you still confused, likely due to an unfulfilled life of fermented hops and one too many ‘wake-n-bake’ breakfasts lasting past your mid twenties when the rest of us realized that fat drunk and stupid really wasn’t the way to go through life:

• Fast box with pretty blue lights that makes solitaire play really fast!  Hee hee, look at the cards bounce across the screen, hee hee hee hee…

Naturally, the parts all arrive today, except for one.  Oh, the humanity of it all!

So, yeah… Michael Jackson is dead.

Meh.

Look, I know there are billions of European social misfits crying their eyes out over the tradegy dejour, but personally, I’m not sad that he’s dead.

There, I said it.  I’m not sad.  Now I’m not going to be so callous as to say I’m happy about it.  That would be pretty stupid.  But I definitely won’t miss any of the freak show that his life became post-Thriller.  His presence will be forgotten in a matter of days by me and plenty of others who always cringed internally and threw up a little in our mouths each time we saw a picture of his face.

Sorry if you had a rough life, Mike.  Wish you could’ve handled it better.

Evidently, the Czech prime minister, and current holder of the EU presidency, Mr Topolanek, does not agree with Obama’s economic recovery plans.

He attacked the US’s growing budget deficit and the “Buy America” campaign, saying “all of these steps, these combinations and permanency is the way to hell”.

At first glance, this may seem alarming.  Here is a notable, world leader condemming what is undoubtably a risky plan.  One might feel alarmed that perhaps those wiley Euopeans with their almighty “Euro” may know what they are talkning about.

That is, unless you look a little closer…

Mr Topolanek, whose government collapsed last night in a Czech parliament vote of no-confidence, said the United States was not taking “the right path”.

Hmm… here you go Mr. Topo-Living-in-a-Glass-House-lanek:

The Smoking Gun has a report about Marie Douglas-David who is claiming to have $53,826 per week in expenses as part of her divorce filing.  Sure, that’s a lot of money, translating into almost $3 million per year.  But what shocked me was in the break down she claimed a cell phone bill of $481 per week.

Not per month… $481 per week.

Ok, seriously now… who the Hell pays that much for their cell phone?  How is that even possible?

I could call Obama’s grandmother at that mudfarm village in Africa and then just leave the phone connected all month and still have a lower cell phone bill.

Some other interesting costs of living for Marie:

• $8,000 per week in travel
• $1,500 per week in “entertainment/restaurants”
• And this one is just too lovely to fully contemplate… $1,000 per week in skin and hair care.
• Not that skin and hair are everything… it also evidently costs Marie $4,500 to clothe herself each week.
• Mind you, that clothing bill does not include keeping her clothes clean.  THAT is an additional $650 per week for dry cleaning.

Times are hard, my friends.  Clearly this poor girl deserves more than the pitance to which she’s been relagated.  After all, she does note in her financial affidavit, “while recognizing that many of the expenses may seem high, most are lower than prior to the commencement of this case in August 2007.”

Well, that makes it all ok, doesn’t it?